Mar 14, 2012

A Guide For Dealing With Disappointment

a guest post by Amanda Koh

Disappointed Child Divorce tumblr Photo

Disappointment is an everyday part of our lives. We usually have to deal with it every single day.

Whether it's in the form of criticism, rejection, failure, betrayal or death/illness/injury of someone close, it usually affects us on a deep level. I also do get affected from time to time, and so I would like to share with you more about disappointment - why it isn't bad, and how to deal with it.

So, why is disappointment important?

There are two main reasons:

1. IT IS A PART OF LIFE

Without disappointment, life simply wouldn't be complete. For example, without the recurrent death of our loved ones, the cycle of life would never end because everyone would still be living.

2. YOU WILL LEARN

“Ones best success comes after their greatest disappointments.” ~Henry Ward Beecher
You will learn a lot from disappointment - no kidding. For example, if someone close to you died, you'll get a chance to understand the importance of cherishing those near you - as well as time.

Now, let’s talk about the myths of disappointment.


Myth #1: There is something wrong with you, and that's why you are disappointed.

This is the most outright lie I've ever heard of on disappointment. There is NOTHING wrong with you. You may have made a mistake here or there, but there's nothing wrong. Everybody makes mistakes from time to time and, as I've said before, it's something that you can learn from.

Myth #2: Every time you feel disappointed, you're just feeling sorry for yourself.

You aren't feeling sorry for yourself. You may be angry at someone, perhaps at yourself, but you are NOT sorry for yourself! You're just feeling that you or someone else have done something wrong.

Myth #3: You have to blame someone - anyone.

Well, this is just plain wrong. You shouldn't blame anybody. Remember, people aren't robots. So you must forgive them for their mistakes. And, if it's you who made the mistake, then forgive yourself.

When You're Facing Disappointment...

What are you supposed to do when you face disappointment? 

Well, here are 6 very important things that you SHOULD do:


1. Be extra gentle with yourself.

2. Remind yourself that everyone deals with disappointment now and then (even those who seem to be perfect!).
“Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.” ~Eliza Tabor quotes
3. Talk to someone you trust and let your thoughts and feelings out.

4. Reflect on the experience.

5. Accept what you can't change (there are certain things you can't change. Instead of trying to change them but failing, try to change those that you CAN actually change!).

6. Relax - do something you enjoy. Get your mind off the disappointment. Although it won't make your disappointment disappear, you'll have a clearer mind to work on it (if needed) later on.

What shouldn't you do? 4 things to put on your NEVER-TO-DO LIST!


1. Blame yourself (or anyone, for that matter).

2. Feel embarrassed that you have to solve problems (as I've mentioned, everyone deals with disappointment).

3. Convince yourself with negative thoughts (e.g. things will never get better).

4. Think that there's something wrong with yourself.

What's your experience with disappointment?

Share your experience with me if you like to. And remember the myths, "do"s and "don't"s because they will be helpful whenever you face disappointment.

Good luck with your journey towards success and may you face more disappointments (and successfully get past them) along the way! :)
XMBHYRCYNMTY

This post is written by Amanda Koh of Great Life Blog. She is a self-motivated student blogger. If you liked this post, then check out her free eBook The Tiny Book of Inspiring Stories and follow her on Twitter.