During the past couple of years, I've been trying to live life more consciously. I thought a lot about the purpose of life. I became vegan so I'd remove the fog in my head and think more clearly. I studied people, their behavior. Minor stuff didn't matter anymore compared to the stuff I used to think of. I studied religions, believes, philosophies.. I visited new places. I saw how other people live. I felt like I finally understood life. I saw life from a third person view. From God's view. I saw life naked. And it wasn't pretty.
I've became too conscious.
Naked life was black and white. Dirty. Meaningless. Nothing we do mattered in the long scheme of things, so why bother? I got depressed. I thought more. I over-thought. I got more depressed.
I started thinking less. I numbed myself. I felt better. I removed the image of naked life from my head. I started putting some clothes on it. I started eating some not-100%-vegan food. I drank from time to time. I embraced the yolo life. Life was pretty again.
Bottom line: Too much zen could kill you, so add some clothes to your life and stop trying to look for the truth.